Is It A Wise Agreement?
We get involved in conflict and negotiaion every day of our lives.
We each have a personal style when it comes to conflict, and there are lots of ways to approach and manage our differences... arguments about 'right', 'wrong' and 'best' ways are difficult to resolve (especially across cultures). Probably how we get an outcome is less important than whether or not that outcome is WISE.
We believe that there are five characteristics to a WISE AGREEMENT.
Richard Fisher and William Ury identified four of these in their excellent book GETTING TO YES! (We also recommend Getting Past No!)Based on our experience with thousands of participants in our workshops on communication, negtiation, performance management, conflict resolution, we've added a fifth, and developed a short questionnaire you can use to test the outcomes you achieve and the agreements you reach at work, at home, in your everyday life.
As usual, you can print off ONE COPY for your personal use -
no other use and no further distribution is permitted.
1. Resolution - IS THE ISSUE REALLY RESOLVED?
YES - all parties believe the outcome means it is no longer an issue...
NO -if you reached a stalemate or deadlock; if the matter has grown bigger or grown to involve others, or if the issues have just been driven underground
PARTLY - if you agreed to disagree, if the issue has just been 'resolved for now' or if you agreed to a compromise2. Mutual Satisfaction - IS EVERYONE SATISFIED WITH THE OUTCOME or AGREEMENT?
YES** - all parties report that they are satisfied
NO if ANY party is still unhappy
PARTLY if any party is agreeing to 'live with it' rather than fully satisfied**IMPORTANT:
Do the other parties TRULY agree with your answer? Check it out - and make sure words and non-verbals match! Especially if there is a power difference!3. Principled Interaction- WE DIDN'T CON or EXPLOIT EACH OTHER - we dealt honestly, fairly and respectfully with each other rather than dirty, dishonest, coercive or manipulative?
YES - all parties were principled
NO if any party took an unfair advantage or obtained an advantage through deception or any other means that if discovered would create a sense of having been conned
PARTLY if any party took an unfair advantage or obtained an advantage through deception or any other means that if discovered MIGHT create a sense of having been conned4. Positive Implications for the Future- THIS SETS US UP TO GET ON WITH THINGS & TO GET ON WITH EACH OTHER IN THE FUTURE
YES - our agreement has laid the foundations for sound working relationships in the future; if it's created workable precedents, respect, trust and goodwill
PARTLY if it's we achieved some of these but not others
NO if we've created a 'rod for our own backs' by agreeing to something that makes this problem go away but creates bigger problems for the future; if we agreed to something that has us spying on each other or needing a 'police officer' or 'court' to enforce; if it sets us up to fight with others or to fight again in the future5. Economy - COST IN TIME, ENERGY, MONEY, PEOPLE & GOODWILL to ACHIEVE THIS OUTCOME
YES - we didn't waste time, energy, money, people or goodwill to get this result
NO if we wasted so much that we hadly think it was worth it, and we'd be reluctant to go through it again
PARTLY if we think the result almost equals what we investedWISE
A wise agreement scores YES on all five characteristics. Congratulations if you got this score!
SELF-DEFEATING
A self-defeating agreement scores NO on ANY characteristic. Chances are this agreement will come undone AND/OR the next one will be harder... UNLESS you work to
resolve the issues in other ways
provide compensation
rebuild integrity, dignity & trust - acknowledge, apologise & make amends if you were the unprincipled party; protect your interests in all future dealings if you were dealt with in an unprincipled way
prove this is so unique a situation that it is NOT a precedent
work out where the waste occurred and figure how to avoid it in any future negotiation
Even then...chances are some damage has been done and future relationship & negotiations will be problematic...
WORK IN PROGRESS
An agreement scoring PARTLY on any characteristic will require further work to make it stick and to prevent other, different issues emerging from this one.
So... How did you go?
Whatever your result, learn something from each agreement...do something different each time with a WISE agreement always your aim, and you'll improve over time!
What have you got to lose?
You are person number
to read this article since 20-10- 2003!
Remember to exercise judgment and discretion in choosing whether, when and how to use any of these concepts and suggestions to inform your consideration of issues.Nothing in this article constitutes advice for specific matters or issues you may be considering - so please ensure that you source appropriate, professional advice on specific matters you confront.
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© 2003 The Corporate Soul P/L
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